ViceZilla’s Views

As China struggles with it’s image after countless news reports of tainted and poisoned food exports, it is now trying to profit from one thing they have plenty of, and that’s poo.

Yes, you heard me correctly. China’s food exports has recently been crap anyway, so now they want to market it properly, so people know exactly what they are getting. And this is just in time for the Olympics. Or rather it is because of the Olympics.

As the 2008 Olympics near, Chinese officials have come up with a grand scheme to profit from it. They have decided to make Olympic souvenirs made from poo! Not just any poo mind you, but real, authentic Panda Poo!

Researchers at a Wildlife research centre have started sculpting photo frames, book marks, fans and panda statues out of the 300 tonnes of poo that is produced annually by it’s 60 giant pandas. Holy crap, that’s a lotta poo!

So for the Olympics they have started molding the poo into statues of athletic pandas performing various Olympic sports.

Now I don’t know a lot about pandas, but one thing I do know is that they are NOT very athletic!

Now before you get on Alibaba.com and place your pre-order, there is one thing you should know. Jing Shimin, assistant to the director of the base, proudly declared that the souvenirs would be relatively odor-free.

“They don’t smell too bad because 70 percent of the dung is just remains of the bamboo that the pandas are unable to digest,” he told Xinhua news agency.

“Relatively?” Just what is he comparing the odor to?

Tags: The China Effect //