ViceZilla’s Views

WTF? This is my question, WTF?

In this day and age of post 9/11, when we are all supposed to be just a little more vigilant of our surroundings, especially in airports, something like this happens that just makes you shake your head!

A man on a flight from Fort Lauderdale, Florida to New York’s LaGuardia airport managed to smuggle a monkey onto the flight under his hat. Yes, under his hat!

“Smuggle” probably isn’t the correct word, as in my opinion he didn’t try very hard to hide the animal from the top-notch, well trained security screeners we have protecting passengers on our domestic flights. Transported would be a better word.

I travel a lot. I cross an international border at least once a month. I hate flying mostly because it’s boring and it’s a complete total waste of productivity. If I didn’t have to fly, I probably wouldn’t. The other part I hate about flying is the hassle of getting through security, but like I said before in this day and age of post 9/11, you tolerate it because everyone wants to be safe.

I’ve stood in a security line for 45 minutes once slowly inching toward the people and machines who are the first line of defense to make sure me and my fellow travelers are safe in the air.

I’ve been through it all going through security. Luggage rummaged through, laptop pretty much disassembled before my very eyes, phone and PDA scrutinized to the point of almost making me believe they weren’t a phone or PDA at all, but rather a detonating device. Yes, a security screener at DFW once asked me if my phone was real, and had me make a call on it to prove it, then he asked me if I had any other uses for it!

Then there’s the manual metal detection process. You know, when you walk through the metal detectors so many times and it still goes “ding”, you get the “one-on-one” treatment by a “specialist”. I’ve been groped in places that no other man has ever groped me before. And I’m getting real tired of the “do you have any tender spots on your body” question they ask just before they get down to business!

At first I tolerated these inconveniences because it was in the matter of public safety. But now I’m starting to wonder if it’s all an act. How can one person be asked to remove almost everything they are wearing before walking through the metal detector, but another can walk through wearing a hat concealing a monkey?

Hell, I’ve watched people behind me going through the metal detector carrying their purse and a bottle of water and breeze on through, no questions asked. Yet the person behind them has to walk through practically naked!
The TSA warns of terrorist “dry runs” at airports and that we should all be on guard for suspicious activity. If that’s the case then why are my tax dollars spent on paying so called “pre-flight” security screeners? Isn’t it their jobs to keep contraband, and monkeys off of our planes to keep us safe?

Might I suggest that any “security screener” who finds it difficult to always remind passengers to remove their hats and place it in a bin before passing through the metal detector, might need to consider a career change. Maybe asking, “Do you want fries with that?” would be a little more up their alley!

Tags: Musings //